compliments Why say is sexist? Andy Irons died The following article is NOT my responsibility, I found it on the "Women of the Word" (which I recommend visiting), but I found it interesting and needs to get out, because it is an issue that we live women around the world: men tell us things on the street, often disgusting things and sexual content, which make us uncomfortable, but do not allow us reject. So, I invite you to read the following lines titled Why say flattery is sexist?:
" What is a compliment?" Is a word or phrase that a man tells a woman that knows no (no emotional relationship of any kind) and more seriously, in public. incomprehensible enough, the man who says the compliment does not care that the unknown woman who receives it has not asked for my opinion (she should feel flattered to assess their physical man in public) and / or it can disturb the right which he is given, or even, given the violence of sexual abuse of men to women in the world terrorize. Does not care because there are two kinds of people: the man, and below, the woman who exists to serve man (we say "to brighten the view.")
The expression of affection, appreciation of beauty in the other person has nothing to do with the question of flattery ... This I intend to explain here and now!
The fact that the issue is so defined compliments about sex who says and who receives it is an important fact which points to evidence that the situation in which a person assesses other public body is the product of a male patriarchal system under which men, as men have a right, established by a tradition of centuries, women: to evaluate (especially your physical) publicly, consideration to whether they may or may not want to hear that assessment.
Do not you think it's more than enough to criticize the practice of the compliments the reason a person (woman, in these cases) may not like to know what to think of it people (men, for these cases) do not know? People macho (recalcitrant) does not understand. They do not understand that this tradition can and should be questioned, or if you want to be a right of men and women to reject this situation.
is sexist "complimenting" a woman because the woman has asked views on his body, and therefore it is illegitimate to impose listen. Women are not exposed to the assessment bodies of men, are people. The patriarchal system, however, teaches us that we accept people just as to serve other human group of men, that is, that we are second-class people (as philosophers conceived Plato and Aristotle), with a decorative container important for sexual release, that they should accept without question what men feel like they do with us, for example, without knowing, say things on the street often refer his sexual desire.
tell a person you want, with whom you have a relationship, you think beautiful can be quite another, may not be a macho, no doubt. The test is whether it can do any person to any person, regardless of sex, men and women to men and women. Telling a person with whom you relate to you like is something in the field of intimate human relations, and has nothing to do with the issue of compliments. The compliments are used to consolidate the masculinity of the person who says and maintain the tradition that women are there to brighten the lives of men, and, as a group to which he has had the "premium."
complimenting has always been the macho ritual of identity, whereby, for a man you have to use so that women, because if not, you're not man enough. If you look, all the rituals of male identity that we know and are transmitted much in the military, in meetings only men in the churches, are building the identity of the man at the expense of women, using: whoring, that compliments, misogynist and homophobic jokes, talking with contempt and lust of women, forced to reproductive function because if not enough "women", forced to serve "their man" (and friends of her man, too, if it happens): marital rape, who does not love to live with forever because it says a god misogynist, etc. The male high value that women have tits or an ass or X attribute that he likes, and is entitled by tradition to shout from the rooftops, outside it, and it is this need for say I will do the favor, pretty, sex with you, I want to sleep with you and I have to announce that it is, because I have the right, I am a male. It is also believed the right to get you out of the market by announcing to the world that your physique does not make you attractive, does not make you "desirable woman." And is that the world's compliment is intricately linked to the world of explicit insult. In the same way that men can tell women "twats", "Go boobs / ass", "How beautiful you are" (no matter that the compliment is that "with great art" has not asked for my opinion, is a right granted only to males of the species, its supremacy over females), are free to make judgments allegedly contrary to the effect: "Ugly", "Look, you fat", and the like, for those who feel that society needs to hear your reviews in one direction on the meat market (women) feel they must make in the other direction, both aimed at women screaming victim of abuse as in cliques with other men who are in the street at that time.
The male feels complimented the absolute necessity of ordering the world into "pretty girls" and "ugly" and boasts that they are blessed with their sacred word I feel so flattered and strengthened. Be asked to the murdered women of Ciudad Juárez what happened after the phase of the compliments (Femicide preceded by torture). All women know intuitively that when an unknown man says something in the street can spend anything from that is limited to verbal aggression (aggression because they did not ask and I will impose), to try to touch you or assault you. Often unresponsive to the aggression of compliments for fear, because we know historically, existentially, that anything can happen from a bad time with the worst of the torture. Those who laugh at this critical compliments (feminist, and absolutely lucid and legitimate social movement through which at last beginning to be heard more often "the first woman to ..." or the now widespread rejection of ill-treatment), they refuse to abandon a discriminatory practice not because it is not, but because it suits them. I like to show his manhood in this way, can not live without this ritual. And they refuse to see the relationship between the rituals of manhood and the social fact that is the treatment of women as sex objects in the service of use and abuse of men (from their use, half naked, to sell to men Car or yoghurt, rape and the threat of rape, one of the bastions of patriarchy always). As if that is not understood, further clarifies the idea:
The macho (recalcitrant sexism because it's in our head "default", and until we question it) can not understand why complimenting is wrong because he can not respect that women have a view also, a mind can not imagine that perhaps this woman does not like strangers going around saying things about your body, and feel offended if you respond that you have not asked for my opinion. "Offended by what? Why refuse the "honor" that is set on you and you put a label? Why do not you're willing to accept the status quo of the hierarchical organization of society as a group takes precedence over another by force? You have no right to respond. Shut up and obey, as always. Is a mechanism twisted like many others: from the most absolute contempt you announce that you appreciate.
That there are women who want men to tell them compliments (if any) is not a justification for the practice, which is, as I tried to explain, one of the "friendly" bastions of the most misogynistic machismo. It is a problem that should be working to get rid of it. Just to change the roles: a man does understand that it is entitled to protest if people on the street is giving his opinion whether they like your body without even knowing.
What people say nice things regardless of their sex and considering the other person, and context.
who finished with the practice of delay and abuse .